Life's Spankings

In the May 2010 issue of Reader's Digest, global survey results are posted for the question: "What's the Best Way to Discipline Kids?" They claim that not one woman in America prefers physical punishment to any other kind.

This is shocking. I can't believe that no one in America wants to spank their kids. It's frowned upon but not illegal. And yes, I would prefer talking to my kids to teach them over spanking, but sometimes, spanking gets the point across more effectively.

For example, if your child bolts into the street, you're not going to give him or her a good talking-to. The worst consequence in this scenario is death; if you run into the street, a car could hit you, and you could die. Natural consequences. In the face of many natural consequences, spanking is nothing at all.

Natural consequences prepare us for grown-up responsibilities. This weekend, when my husband and his buddy tried to change the Beast's fuel filter, a fuel line broke. Natural consequence: my husband called AAA for a tow to the mechanic. The mechanic's bill was around $109. No transportation to Spokane meant the movie I planned to see for class was put off until Monday night. Now we know we should have taken the Beast to the mechanic in the first place. (The gas tank was in the way, creating a real hassle.)

We, as a country, need to understand natural consequences. You run up debt, you lose your belongings. You break the law, you are fined or go to jail. These are things we all need to understand as children. Maybe this why crime is high, unemployment is high, and the national debt is high.

But back to the Reader's digest article: what kind of useless question did they ask? Without understanding the circumstances, 150 respondents per 16 countries picked their preferred method of punishment. The minimal level of confidence considered standard by the media is 96 percent. When you calculate 150 respondents per country, you're left with a laughable margin of error of 16.7 percent. So up to 16.7 percent of American women prefer spanking their kids, and for American men, 0 to 22.7 percent prefer to spank their kids.

Hm... So what can we conclude from this survey? Nothing, really. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.