Children of imprisioned sexual offenders face difficulties moving foward.

Sixteen-year-old “John” would like to move forward from a traumatizing period of his life.

Before he was born, his parents divorced. Before he was two, his mother remarried a man named “Smith.” As a young child, he had sporadic visits with his father, “Harry.” These visits included two younger siblings from another marriage for a “Disneyland-dad” type weekends.

As a member of the large Smith family, John's mother enrolled him in kindergarten with his stepfather’s last name. Much to Harry’s ire, this name followed John up through elementary school, finally accompanying his face on his ASB card.

When John was 12, Harry was arrested. During the previous six-month span, Harry had raped his 8-year-old daughter during visits with his three children. She had been too terrified to tell anyone. Her mother, the custodial parent, learned the terrible news during a visit to the emergency room, a visit they made when she realized that something was physically wrong with her daughter.

Harry eventually pled guilty. During the trial, John wrote the judge a letter, forgiving his father but asking the judge to keep his sister safe while she grew up. The judge sentenced Harry to two concurrent terms of 13 years.

Now that John is 16, Harry is thousands of dollars behind on child support. The only contact John wants with his imprisoned father is permission for John’s stepfather to adopt him. If John’s mother were to die unexpectedly, no one would contest that the best place for him was in the home where he grew up.

If Harry were to agree to John’s adoption, according to Seattle family attorney Albert Lirhus, it would cost the family around $1,000 in lawyers fees; $250 for the court clerk’s fee; $50 per copy of the adoption because after the adoption, the files are sealed; $35 for a new birth certificate; and $400 to $700 for a post-placement report, which a social worker submits to the court to inform them of the step-parent’s ability to perform the role as guardian. Total, John’s family would have to pay around $2000, but this is only if Harry were to agree to the proceedings.
With or without that sort of price tag, none of the Smiths are eager to contact Harry. Even if Harry agreed, writing him could be seen as an invitation to further correspondence.

Washington state law protects children, but it also creates a hardship for them. A nuclear family is not always the natural family.

Judges should have the option to strip sexual offenders of their parental rights when they victimize any of their children.

As it is, John is closely associated with the Smiths. At his high school, he’s “another one of those Smith kids.” The family doesn’t consider him “half” anything and many of their friends don’t know.

But sometimes, John feels like an outsider. The nagging voice he hears in the back of his mind tells him that he’s not one of them. John’s step-dad knows this and strives to be loving and fair. They argue and make up like any other father and son.
As for the hardships around adoption, Mr. Smith has a different attitude. “All the extra precautions in the world are worth it if you can save one kid from abuse,” he says. But, as the sole provider for the family, he acknowledges that it’s expensive and time-consuming.

When John decides to get his driver’s license, the card will read “Smith.” Since his ASB card doesn’t spell out “Wackoewiack,” the name on his social security card or birth certificate, a name he boasts he can’t spell properly, applying for college aid will be tricky.

John’s mother says that he’ll probably change his name during his senior year when he turns 18 in a year and a half. He’ll be old enough to do it without special permissions, and it will cost far less than an adoption. At that time, the Smiths may look into adult adoption proceedings.